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Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 
– Philippians 4:6-7

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Prayer for guidance and restoration

Pray for this hearing Thursday and the most positive results possible to happen. Pray my friend Olivia can tell I was seizing that night and that she has it all wrong and misconstrued. Also pray she can feel something in regards to this situation. I’ve really suffered and had so much loss that is unbelievable. I’ve seen and live in the dark for so long it’s changed me and it’s painful every day but it’s my reality. There has to be something better than this. I don’t think it’s supposed to be like this. I’ve lost so many to death lately. My health is declining. I suffered through so much pain and I was homeless. I’m still here but I did it for my friend. I just want something right to happen with situation. She can say that she was wrong and help me. My health has taken nearly everything away except my hope. There just has to be a way out of this and brighter days. Pray for me and Olivia please. I don’t want to lose her to this freak accident and misconstrued understanding. Pray no one has or will coerced her and lied to her. Pry she knows I was seizing and that I did all I could for her. Pray that she has felt something and realizes her own mistake and what it has placed me into. I’ve lived in the dark for so long throughout my entire life I just to see the sun for once. Please. I thought Olivia was the sun and then because of my the unpredictable nature of my life and my health she was ripped away from me. I missed my grandmothers funeral who raised me while I was in the crisis center. I was homeless for a couple of months. Every week I lit up Main Street with the lights of amr because of my seizures. I’ve cried everyday of my life. I don’t understand why I was given this tragic life and I don’t know why no one will see me. It hurts so much and no one take away any of it. Please pray for Olivia to see it. I thought she could see it. I want someone to see me. I want someone to hear me. I don’t understand any of this but I’m not going to quit. There has to be something better. Please pray for me. I’d give anything to anyone and I live to observe and to say it all happened. It hurts and I can’t forget anything because I’m cursed with a mind that forgets nothing. It has always been so dark. Please pray I can at least not see it in my mind and that I can find something or someone that will make it hard to hear the screams of my past that haunts me everyday because of how loud their love is. Pray for something to happen to me that I don’t know how to ask for that will change me for the better for the rest of my life. Please pray for me and Olivia too. She didn’t know and no one knows. But there is so much pain in me and behind me that people think it’s just me and I’m toxic. They don’t realize that I just need them to stay. I’ve made it this far I’ll be ok, but they hurt me because they leave. They compare me to others and they always get it wrong. I don’t need their help I just need their love, their friendship, for them to stay, just a simple hug or them telling me that they know. I don’t need much, I can get anything and do anything myself I just have a lot more pain and disabilities than others. I can make it through anything and I will thrive, but there is no denying that I am very hurt and miss my friend Olivia and just want her back after all of this has happened. She doesn’t have a clue about what really happened to me because she was barred away from me. She didn’t know me well enough to judge me correctly. I didn’t have a chance because of my health. I was having a seizure and I couldn’t tell her and she was behind the door and couldn’t see me. She accidentally put me into one of the most painful situations I have ever been through and it lasted for months. I can’t get the people that died back and I can’t get my home back, I can’t forget all of my traumas, I can’t keep this disease that has taken away so much from me from progressing. But I can take responsibility with this situation with her and I just hope all of the work I put into it pays off and I can have my friend back. It’s cruel and unusual for this to have all happened. Please pray for me and my friend Olivia. Pray she see all of the evidence and that my suffering and ability to make it out changes her and makes her feel something. I did nothing wrong, I was outmatched and sick. I still am. Pray for me. It l will get better, just pray for me and my friend Olivia please. This wasn’t right.

Received: January 13, 2020

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